


This Ain't No Shoujo Manga (But It Kinda Feels Like One)

by yamarik



Category: K (Anime)
Genre: Drama, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-19
Updated: 2019-01-23
Packaged: 2019-10-12 19:19:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 20,167
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17473469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yamarik/pseuds/yamarik
Summary: After years of crushing on a guy he's only talked to once, Saruhiko decides it's time to move on. He attends a goukon hosted by his second cousin, Aya, and while he doesn't find love there, it may be just the event that sets him on the path to it.Aka the one where Aya genuinely like Misaki, Minoru and Megumi are Misaki's step-sibs and are about the same age as him, and Saruhiko and Misaki never became friends.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So I suck at titles and summaries, what else is new?  
> This fic is basically a lot of me playing with "what if"s. It's technically an alternate canon, but a lot of the K elements are completely irrelevant because they never joined clans so whatever.  
> First chapter warnings: a couple of OCs who are human scum appear and act like, well, human scum. Specifically, there's some bisexual erasure so watch out for that.

Saruhiko paused outside the room the group was meeting in. Did he really want to do this? 

No. He really didn’t. But the alternative was to just continue on as he had for years, and somehow, he just didn’t like that option. Probably because how he’d gone on for years was “pretty damn miserably”. 

With an irate click of his tongue, Saruhiko pushed the door open and entered. The other five people were already present and seated around the table in the center of the karaoke booth, spaced so as to leave one spot for him on the side designated for the guys. It was on the far side of the table from where Aya sat, and he silently thanked the powers that be that he wasn’t directly across from her. Then again, she would have hated being across from him just as much as he would have, and he did so love to spite her. But she also loved to spite him, so sitting across from her would still have been a loss in the end. 

“Saruhiko, finally!” Aya drawled. “Now we can actually, like, get started. Also we like, ordered our drinks and food already. Aya ordered for you.” 

Saruhiko clicked his tongue again and took his seat. Knowing Aya, she’d probably gotten something she knew he would hate. 

The girls introduced themselves first. Saruhiko ignored Aya’s introduction- because fuck her, but also just no. The other two girls were Kayo Hanajima, who was as shy and simpering as her name might imply, and Megumi Fukuhara, who was a proud athlete. Neither of them seemed particularly interesting to Saruhiko. He’d always liked guys a bit more anyway. What a shame the purpose of a goukon was to end with three hetero couples. 

Expecting the other two guys there to be straight, Saruhiko ignored their introductions as well. All too soon, it was his turn. He clicked his tongue. He knew that this was the only way to make anything change, but that didn’t change the fact that he really didn’t want to be here. 

“Hello, my name is Saruhiko Fushimi, I’m a second-year in university,” he said as his introduction. The air hung heavily as the others waited for him to say more. No thanks, he’d pass. 

“What, that’s it?” one of the other guys asked. 

“What else is there to say?” Saruhiko grumbled, examining the table in the center. 

“Um, well, S-Saruhiko-kun,” Kayo all but whispered, “may I call you Saruhiko-kun? Um, Saruhiko-kun, what’s your major?” 

“Software engineering,” he said shortly, trying to indicate that he didn’t want to elaborate by being blunt. 

“W-well, what sorts of hobbies do you have?” 

Computer programming and knife-throwing, but he wasn’t going to say that. The first made him seem nerdy, which he was, but it would also cause people to assume he was weak, which he wasn’t. As for the knife-throwing, that tended to alarm people. 

“I don’t have any,” Saruhiko replied. 

“O-oh,” Kayo said, shrinking in on herself. He felt a little bad for her- clearly she lacked self-confidence and had really been trying hard to interact with someone else who seemed uncomfortable being social. But in his opinion, it was better to dash her hopes now rather than wait until later. He wasn’t really interested in someone like her. 

“Well then what do you like?” Megumi asked, leaning forward to try and pierce him with an intense stare. 

“Nothing,” he mumbled back, skillfully avoiding eye contact. 

“Geez, you’ve gotta be the most boring guy ever!” one of the other guys said. 

“Whatever, it just means we’ve got better chances, right?” laughed the other guy, not even bothering to lower his voice. Disgusting. 

“Okay, but what is your type?” Megumi persisted, still trying to make eye contact. It didn’t feel like she was actually interested in him though. It was more like she felt getting him to open up was a challenge that she was determined to overcome. 

_A short, loud-mouthed idiot of a guy with red hair and hazel eyes who I’ve been in love with since my first year of middle school. Nope, not saying that._

“I don’t really have one,” he said. 

“So, what, anyone has a chance?” the guy who has called him the most boring guy ever asked. Saruhiko glanced at him and noticed he had one eyebrow raised, skeptical. And Saruhiko was just so annoyed he decided to give these people what they wanted and open up a little. 

“That’s right,” he said, looking the guy dead in the eye, “anyone. I’m bi.” 

“Ew! No homo!” exclaimed the guy who had boasted about his better chances. 

“You know, like, if it’s really anyone, like, you’re actually pan, right?” Aya said, because she was a piece of shit like that. 

The guy Saruhiko was addressing snorted. 

“Oh come on,” he said. “Everyone knows that bisexual and pansexual are just things people make up to seem kinky. They think that people will find them hotter if they claim to like both.” 

Something slammed against the table and all eyes turned to Megumi, who was glaring furiously at judgmental guy. 

“Shut the fuck up,” she ordered, her voice icy cold. “Both of you, shut up, now.” 

“Oh, did you find it hot?” judgmental guy sneered. 

“I’m indifferent to whether he, or anyone else, is bi,” Megumi retorted. “I just can’t stand hearing bullshit like what you just said. It makes me want to vomit. And to say it to someone who’s actually bi? You’re an absolute douche.” 

“Y-yeah!” Kayo squeaked. 

What the fuck? Why were these girls standing up for him. No one stood up for him. Ever. 

_Except one time, in his first year of middle school, when a short guy came rushing out of nowhere and jumped a bully who was trying to extort money from Saruhiko. He and the short guy had collectively gotten their asses kicked, and then Saruhiko had refused to thank the guy afterwards._

He was tempted to treat the girls the same way he had treated that guy back then, but things were different now. He no longer had to fear that man and what he might do to anyone Saruhiko became friends with. He could let the walls down now. 

As if it were that easy. 

But maybe if he tried, he might manage to start a real relationship with someone. After all, when he hadn’t thanked that guy before, he’d ended up having a seven-year-long unrequited crush. He wasn’t really interested in either of them, but it was worth a shot. 

“Thanks,” he muttered, looking at the door. It came out more bitter than he’d intended, and probably sounded sarcastic and ungrateful. He flinched, realizing that it was probably better if he just kept those walls up after all. 

“ _Any_ way, are we like, going to sing?” Aya asked. “Aya wants to do the first song!” 

For once, his cousin was proving to be actually useful. Amazing. Though he supposed hostilities between them had died down a bit since middle school. When she’d asked him why he’d chosen to go to the local public school rather than some snooty and prestigious private school like her, he’d lied and said that he hadn’t done well on his entrance exams. She hadn’t really believed him, because for all the things she was, stupid wasn’t one of them, but she had accepted it because in the end she did like to feel superior to him, and in that case, he was happy to let her. It was better than letting her know the truth, that he hadn’t even tried for any private schools, and actually would have just quit school then and there if it weren’t for the fact that he wanted to see a certain red-head for another three years. But the joke was on him, because that guy hadn’t gone to the same high school after all. 

Oh well, not like he would ever have talked to that guy anyway. 

As Aya launched into some fluffy pop song by some girl idol group, everyone began rearranging themselves. Not surprisingly, the two guys wasted no time in moving away from Saruhiko, cramming themselves in on either side of poor Kayo. Megumi, meanwhile, got up to look at the song menu for a bit, then came over and plopped down next to Saruhiko. Thankfully, she didn’t try and stir up any conversation, and Saruhiko could almost ignore how the presence of another human was closer than his preferred distance of at least one meter. 

They managed to get through five more songs- a cheesy love song one of the guys chose, a lewd song the other guy chose, a surprisingly sassy song chosen by Kayo, and then two duets, one between Megumi and Aya and another between the two guys. None of them were particularly impressive singers, but who cared. Saruhiko sure as hell didn’t. He’d already decided within five minutes of walking through the doors that this stupid goukon was a bust and coming here had been a terrible idea, and mostly he was just waiting for a believable interval to pass before he could excuse himself to the bathroom and just straight-up leave. 

He was just about to go when the song menu was shoved in his face. 

“You haven’t sung yet,” boastful guy said. 

“Probably because I don’t sing,” Saruhiko replied icily. 

“Then do a duet,” judgmental guy said with an eye roll. “Not with me though. I’m not singing some gay shit.” 

“Yeah, me neither. That’d be just plain gross,” boastful guy agreed. 

“It can’t be any grosser than that rap you mumbled your way through five minutes ago,” Megumi snapped. 

“Yeah, even Aya found that totally tasteless,” Aya said as Kayo nodded along. 

“Snobby bitches,” boastful guy muttered. 

In Saruhiko’s head, he could already hear it. _“Don’t talk about women that way!”_ The redhead had shouted it at some guys during their second year after the guys had been loudly “evaluating” girls walking by in the hall. He’d proceeded to chew them out about treating women nicely, and had even become popular among the girls in the school for about a week before everyone realized that he ceased functioning whenever a girl tried to talk to him. 

“Snobby?” Megumi retorted. “How is it snobby to not want something that is obviously garbage? If you guys weren’t such trash, you might be attractive, but you’re such fuckboys that any sensible girl would never get into any kind of relationship with you. You want a date with one of us then come back when you’ve learned to stop being such pervs and homophobes.” 

“You keep standing up for queers,” judgmental guy sneered, a nasty glint in his eye. “You’re not one yourself, are you?” 

“No, but someone I care a lot about is,” Megumi replied without batting an eye. 

“Who, your girlfriend?” boastful guy quipped, and he and judgmental guy high-fived. 

“Why would I be at a goukon if I had a girlfriend?” Megumi asked, quirking an eyebrow. 

“Oh sorry, ex- girlfriend,” judgmental guy said, and he and boastful guy snorted with laughter. Megumi’s eyes narrowed. 

“I-I have to go,” Kayo whispered suddenly, before Megumi could jump down anyone’s throat. Kayo began grabbing her things. Megumi took a deep breath to collect herself, presumably because she didn’t feel like getting charged with homicide today. 

“Yeah, good idea,” Megumi said after collecting herself. “Why don’t we go together? Saruhiko, you were gonna leave soon too, right?” 

Saruhiko wasn’t pleased to be leaving with other people, but he really didn’t want to stick around any more than they did, so he nodded. 

“Yeah, no point sticking around,” he agreed. He almost felt bad leaving Aya alone with the two guys, but nah. Really, if there was anyone he should be feeling sorry for, it was the two guys, being left alone with Aya. 

The three of them left, stepping out of the room just as the drinks were arriving. If the waiter bringing in the drinks found it odd to see them leaving, he kept it to himself. They hurried outside, none of them wanting to be stopped and dragged back to that circle of hell they’d just left. Once they were free of the building, they all breathed in deeply, happy to be out of there. Saruhiko was certain that fresh air had never felt so good. 

“Thank god we’re out of there,” Megumi said. 

“Agreed,” Saruhiko said. 

“Yeah, neither of you really seemed like you wanted to be there anyway,” Kayo said. When Saruhiko and Megumi both turned to look at the soft-spoken girl, she shrugged. “I mean, you’re both kinda closed off, y’know?” she elaborated. “Plus despite the fact that Aya’s the one who organized all this, neither of you seem to really like her much.” 

“I don’t actually know her,” Megumi admitted, scratching her jawline with her pointer finger. “She’s my brother’s friend. And while I did want to be there… well… I kinda got rejected pretty badly recently, and so even though I want to hurry up and get over it, I… I’m still a little nervous, y’know?” Kayo nodded understandingly. 

“Yeah, that would be a little hard. And it probably didn’t help that your only options were the two jerks or the guy who’s just not interested,” Kayo said, and both girls looked at Saruhiko from the corners of their eyes. He clicked his tongue in irritation. 

“Pardon me if I find it difficult to form a romantic connection with someone I just met,” he grumbled. Though that wasn’t quite true. He had a long-term crush on a guy who he’d exchanged only a couple of sentences with to prove otherwise. Though technically, he had known that guy before that incident, he just hadn’t noticed him as being anyone consequential. 

“Yeah, except you’re hardly going to get to know someone well enough to form a romantic connection with that frosty attitude,” Megumi retorted. “Why were you even at the stupid goukon?” 

“I’m… trying to get over someone too,” Saruhiko admitted. “And while I hate Aya, we’re related so it’s not like I can get rid of her, and I don’t have many friends I can ask to set me up. Even if I did, a blind date would probably go about as well as that did.” He jerked his head towards the karaoke place behind them. 

“S-speaking of which,” Kayo tremored, “shouldn’t we like, get further away from here? Like, what if they decide to follow us out or something, or they also leave since there’s no real point in staying?” 

“Fuck, she’s right,” Megumi said. “Where’s everyone headed to? I have to stick around a while longer, since I’m supposed to meet my brother when he gets off work to make sure he comes home for dinner, so it doesn’t matter for me.” 

“Well my bus stop is that way,” Kayo said, pointing over to the right. “A-and the next bus should actually be coming pretty soon, I think.” 

The two girls turned to Saruhiko again, and he sighed. 

“I don’t really have any reason to go home quickly, so I suppose I ought to make sure you two are alright,” he mumbled. That was what guys were supposed to do right? Make sure girls stayed safe? He honestly had no idea, but the voice in his head that sounded like the redhead insisted he do it. And given that it was the most pleasant of the voices in his head, he tended to listen to it. Sometimes. 

“Aw, that’s rather sweet of you,” Megumi said. “Alright then! On to Kayo-chan’s bus stop!” 

The two girls linked arms with a giggle, and walked off, not even checking if Saruhiko was following. It was tempting to not, but he had said he would, and while it may have been an annoyance to do so, he could already hear what that voice would yell at him if he didn’t, about how a man keeps his word. 

The girls chattered nonsensically as the three of them walked, and Saruhiko was grateful that, at the very least, he didn’t have to participate in their endless jabbering. Conversation was a skill- some claimed it was even an art- and it was one Saruhiko had never had a chance to hone. Not that he really wanted to. Talking to people was usually a waste of time, in his experience. They got emotional over stupid things and expected everyone to have the same opinions as them, and he could put his time to better use. Like watching paint dry, which was, in his opinion, about as stimulating. 

They got to Kayo’s stop just in time for her to catch her bus- she had to jog a bit to make it in time, but she made it safely on board and was soon out of their hair. That was one pest gone. And now… 

“So, what do you wanna do?” Megumi asked, and Saruhiko bit his tongue to keep from clicking it. He wasn’t the one who had to wait here, so why should he have to make the plans? 

“Don’t care,” he mumbled. 

“Well, how about getting something to drink, since we left too soon for the ones that were ordered?” Megumi suggested. “There’s some vending machines just around the corner from here, and there’s a coffee shop nearby, and there’s fast food places too if you also want food and don’t mind being the only one eating. Though you’ll have to skip out on fries, because I swear those things have a magnetic pull or something because even if you aren’t hungry at all, someone sits down with fries and before you know it you’ve already mooched half of them.” 

“Vending machines are fine,” Saruhiko replied, thinking happily (or as happily as he ever thought of anything) of a can of iced coffee. He liked canned coffee a lot. It was cheaper than anything you could get at some coffee shop, plus it didn’t come with anything ridiculous added and he liked the taste better than freshly brewed coffee. Call him strange but that was the way he rolled. 

“Okay cool. There’s a park about a block away where we can sit down,” Megumi said, already leading the way towards the vending machines. Saruhiko followed after her, and was glad to see they had his favorite kind of canned coffee in one of the vending machines. Megumi got some mildly fruit-flavored water for herself, and then they went over to the park. 

The park was, Saruhiko supposed, a nice enough place. He wasn’t really a park person though. Or really an “anything outdoors at all” person. Why waste time outside when he could just curl up with a laptop or handheld gaming console somewhere comfy, or laze in front of a TV? But still, the park was spacious, with large grassy spaces, a couple of flower beds, a playground in the middle, sidewalk around the edges and bisecting the grass in a few places to lead to the playground, and trees shading benches that were evenly-spaced along the sidewalks. It was on one such bench that the two acquaintances sat. 

Saruhiko had just enough time to pop the tab on his can of coffee before Megumi was speaking up. 

“So what was the person you were trying to get over like?” 

What. The. Fuck. Why did she think it was okay to ask that? There was no way Saruhiko was willing to go there, especially not with an almost complete stranger. He pursed his lips in annoyance. 

“Come on, don’t be shy,” Megumi coaxed. “We’ve got almost two hours to kill before my brother gets off work so if you’re serious about waiting with me we might as well get to know each other.” 

Oh fucking shit. She had to be kidding him. 

“Shouldn’t you be the one telling me about yourself first?” he said back, trying to find some way out. 

“Except I can already tell the only way I’m getting anything out of you is by asking,” Megumi said as if that was an excuse. Which, admittedly, it kinda was, but did she have to start with that? 

Saruhiko sipped his coffee, and when he couldn’t find a way to divert the subject, he sighed. 

“I’d rather not answer that particular question,” he mumbled. 

“You can’t have passes because if you do then you’ll just pass on everything I ask,” Megumi insisted stubbornly. 

“Well I wouldn’t have to pass if you weren’t prying,” he retorted. 

“Geez, why are you so freaking defensive about everything?” Megumi asked. “Would it kill you to open up to people a little?” 

“Maybe not,” Saruhiko admitted. “But there are things worse than death.” 

“Like what?” Megumi challenged. 

“Like a sadistic sociopathic parent who thrives on psychologically torturing their child,” Saruhiko replied without missing a beat. It was a complete whim to do so, and he wasn’t used to obeying whims, but he was glad he did because it felt strangely liberating to mention it. Even though it had been years since that man had died, his ghost still seemed to linger, casting a pall over Saruhiko and preventing him from moving on. But talking about that man and what he’d been like as a parent made Saruhiko wonder if maybe, possibly, someday he could be free. It wouldn’t be any time soon, but perhaps it could happen. 

“Well,” Megumi said, clearly taken aback. “That would certainly explain a lot.” 

“I’m glad to hear that it is so easy to fit my personality into some box,” Saruhiko replied blandly. 

“Aaaand you’re still an asshole. Good to see that that hasn’t changed in the past five minutes.” 

“Sorry if I’d somehow implied that it had,” Saruhiko said, and to his surprise, Megumi laughed. 

“Who the hell is more apologetic about seeming to not be an asshole than about actually being one?” she guffawed. “Alright, I’ll stop asking about your crush or ex or whatever, but in return, you have to let me help you find someone new, alright?” 

Saruhiko clicked his tongue. 

“Tch. Why do I have to do that?” 

“Because while you’re a jerk, you’re pretty upfront about it and I like that, so I’ve decided I want to be friends with you. And as such, I ought to help you out with getting over whoever it is and moving on. Though if you did decide to tell me about them, it would be helpful, just so I’d have something to go on. But I’m starting to get that you’re not one for sharing things, so…” 

Something about the way Megumi acted reminded him of that short redhead. It wasn’t the same, not by a long shot- Megumi was clearly more intelligent and had better volume control, and yet something still made him feel… nostalgic, perhaps, and he felt himself caving in as he hadn’t back then. Things were different now. He was allowed to want things. 

“It’s kinda stupid,” he mumbled into his can of coffee, half-hoping Megumi wouldn’t hear. “We were in the same class our first year of middle school. He stood up for me once. I refused to thank him. We never talked again. I haven’t even seen him since the graduation ceremony.” 

“When you say graduation ceremony, you mean…” Megumi began. Damn, she’d heard it all. With a sigh, he lowered his coffee can and continued. 

“Middle school. He went to a different high school.” 

“Wow. You really have it bad. Must be like true love or something.” 

“Doubt it.” 

“But it could be!” Megumi said, and for a moment she shone bright, a bit like that redhead but paler, not overwhelming like him. “I mean, why else would you not get over him?” 

Saruhiko didn’t have an answer for that. 

“It’s not like I’ll ever see him again,” he whispered, and yet Megumi heard that too. 

“Sure you will. I just know it. It’s gotta be fate!” 

“How can you do that?” Saruhiko asked, not sure if he meant the way she heard everything or the way she could believe so strongly in something completely unfounded or maybe even the way she could invoke memories of that guy so easily. She had said she was going to help him get over that short guy, but right now she was only making his feelings resurface. 

“What was that?” Megumi asked in confusion, pushing her hair out of her face as a gust of wind messed it up. 

“Nothing,” Saruhiko said. Megumi’s eyes narrowed in clear disbelief, so he quickly moved the conversation along, asking “So if you’re helping me, does that mean I should help you move on in return?” 

He looked over at Megumi in time to see her eyes widen in surprise. And then she was laughing again, and he wasn’t sure if she was mocking him. 

“Nah, you don’t need to do that,” she said. “Today pretty much confirmed I’m not ready for a new relationship, and should just take some time to myself for a while. Focus on me a bit, you know? Once I feel better about me I can worry about finding Mr. Right again.” 

“Good luck with that,” Saruhiko said sarcastically. 

“Yeah, I guess it probably sounds like bullshit to someone who’s been crushing on the same guy for seven years,” Megumi said, not the least bit perturbed by Saruhiko’s sourness. He supposed he liked that about her, in a way. He didn’t come across many people like that, so he might as well keep the ones he did meet around. “But I think it’s probably different for me. I’m already starting to wonder what was so great about that guy who rejected me. Like, I don’t even remember what I liked about him in the first place. So, it shouldn’t be too hard to get over him for me, and well, that realization also has me questioning my taste and so I want to be certain I can trust my own judgment when next time comes along. You on the other hand… Your crush must have really been something, if you’re still pining for him after so long. Who knows, maybe you guys are soul mates or something.” 

“Soul mates don’t exist. This isn’t fan fiction, Megumi.” 

“I know,” Megumi laughed. “But hey, if you really want to pay me back for helping you get over your crush or whatever, stick around so that when I do find someone else, you can help me figure out whether or not he’s worth it, how ‘bout that?” 

“I suppose that’s what a friend would do, is it?” Saruhiko asked. 

“Yup. I’m pretty sure it’s in the friendship handbook that everyone is supposed to have internalized: thou shalt telleth thy friends when their boyfriends beith dicks, douchebags, fuckboys, or other unholy swine.” 

“And what if thy friend doth happen to beith himself an asshole, according to thou?” Saruhiko replied, causing Megumi to giggle at the way he’d reflected her fancy speech. 

“All the better to bring out thine boyfriend’s unholy swine side,” she said. 

“Huh. Guess that means I’ll be a great friend,” Saruhiko commented. Megumi’s eyebrows shot up, almost hiding themselves under her bangs. 

“I’d hold off on the greats if I were you. It just means you’d be great in that kind of instance.” 

“Whatever.” Saruhiko closed his eyes and leaned back. But deep down, he was just a little bit pleased that, for the first time in his life, he would have someone he could call a friend. 

* * *

Aya burst into the convenience store, hoping that she wouldn’t find Megumi also there. Wouldn’t that be awkward, after the way the goukon had just turned out? A quick look around revealed that the other girl was absent, while simultaneously locating a pair of amber eyes looking up to see who had entered. Misaki. 

He was behind the register, counting out change for a customer. He nodded a greeting to Aya and turned his attention back to the coins, double checking his math before placing them in the tray and sliding them over to the customer to take. Aya grabbed a box of chocolate pretzel sticks and when the other customer was gone, she headed up to the counter with it. 

“Is the goukon over already?” Misaki asked, not bothering to tell Aya her total as he rang up her purchase since she’d gotten the same exact thing so many times by now that they both had it memorized. 

“Ugh, don’t even mention that disaster, please,” Aya responded, handing over the exact payment to save Misaki the trouble of trying to calculate which coins to give her. He’d been working jobs like this for a while now, but math had never been his strong suit so she would help where she could. 

“Oh,” Misaki said, his face falling. “Did… did it not go well?” 

“No, it definitely didn’t,” Aya answered, taking the box and ripping it open. She tore open the wrapper around the pretzel sticks with her teeth and began angrily munching on them. “ _Someone_ had to go and mention that he’s bi, and then the other two guys had to be a couple of jerks about it.” 

Misaki cringed. 

“And let me guess, Megumi got mad?” he asked wearily. 

“Yeah, her and Kayo. Though you can’t really blame them for getting mad. But honestly, who mentions being bi at a goukon? That’s just idiotic. He should have known better.” She shoved three sticks in her mouth at once, not caring if she looked undignified. Only Misaki was here. He wouldn’t judge. And besides, while she wanted him to see her good sides, a healthy relationship didn’t work based on lies. She wouldn’t hide who she was, not to him. Not to the guy she liked. 

“Sorry,” Misaki said quietly. 

“Haaaaah?” Aya asked angrily. She didn’t like it when Misaki got all apologetic like this. It was one of the few things she took issue with in his personality, that he seemed to have two modes: max idiot at max volume, or blaming himself for all the problems in the world. He was cute either way, but couldn’t he find some sort of happy medium? “Why are you apologizing? It’s not your fault!” 

“Yeah but-” 

“I’m the one who invited everyone to the goukon, so like, if there were any disagreements, they were like, my fault,” Aya snapped, not waiting to hear his protest. “Your sister was just like, standing by her morals. And like, besides, even if it were her fault, that like, doesn’t make it yours by extension. You wanted my advice on how to help your sister get over her crush, and I suggested the goukon. You literally have nothing to apologize for.” 

“I just feel bad that things got messed up,” Misaki said quietly. 

“Of course you do. You’re like, Mr. Nicey-nice or something.” She didn’t add that a lot of the problems that were weighing him down these days stemmed in part from that niceness. He was a good guy, but in a way that made him easy to take advantage of. Too many people had no qualms about using someone like Misaki and throwing him aside, and because Misaki was an idiot he never learned. 

“Yeah…” Misaki laughed, a quiet, humorless sound. It grated on Aya, that laugh. It was a pale imitation of the laugh he’d had back in middle school, the sound that had first caused her to notice the loud redhead. She knew things had been rough for him the past few years- the disassembly of the “Yata Team”, his mom’s remarriage, failing his high school entrance exams- but she wished he wouldn’t take things quite to heart the way he did. 

“Anyway, since the goukon failed I’ll start brainstorming ideas for new ways you can help your sister get over that jerk who rejected her,” Aya said, leaning back against the counter and brandishing one of her pretzel sticks to the empty store. “And I know you said to let things be, but I’ve also got a few ideas on how to deal with that guy for rejecting her like that.” 

“Ayyyyaaaaaa,” Misaki groaned in exasperation. But when Aya turned back to him there was a small smile on his face so she considered her efforts a success. 

Like this, things were good. Like this, she was the person who was closest to Misaki, his partner in crime, his best friend. Like this, she almost had what she’d wanted since back when they were just a couple of grade-school brats. 

Back then, Aya hadn’t been the only one looking at Misaki. She’d used her cousin Saruhiko as an excuse, a way to get closer to Misaki since they were in the same class and even sat pretty close to each other. By hanging out with Saruhiko, she could watch the vivid boy who had captivated her. She could put up with her boring, dry, unsociable cousin for that reason. 

But she’d soon noticed that her boring, dry, unsociable cousin sometimes got a certain look on his face, one that was only marginally different from his usual expression but which, if you knew him well, might be considered dreamy. And someone as smart as Aya was bound to notice that the new expression tended to show up when a certain person was talking, or in his field of view. And that person was the same boy that she had come to see. 

In hindsight, Aya wasn’t sure she hadn’t known about her cousin’s sexuality before Saruhiko himself had. 

Luckily for Aya, in their second year she had ended up in the same class as Misaki and Saruhiko hadn’t. Misaki had become a loner since the incident with his “friends” the year before, taking on a persona where he was a little loud but kinda nice and kinda funny and so he wasn’t really hated by anyone but wasn’t really close to them either. Aya had inserted herself into his life then, painstakingly working her way past that ridiculous fear of girls he seemed to have until finally, she could call herself his friend. After that she’d made sure to stick by him through thick and thin, building up trust in the hopes that one day, he’d either notice her feelings or she would find an opening to confess them. 

But here they were, all these years later, and Aya was still stuck in the friend zone with him. She wasn’t sure he hadn’t noticed her feelings and was just deliberately ignoring them. She’d tried, really, with little prods asking him about what his type was and if he’d ever thought about dating, just trying to get him to throw her a bone. But he was stubbornly unhelpful, and the only thing she’d ever gotten was vague answers and once, a wistful look in his eye. 

If Aya were a little less stubborn, she’d probably admit that Misaki probably just wasn’t interested in her. He’d never made a single move on her, had never looked at her too long even. But there was no one else, Aya was sure of it, so surely soon things would change between them; they had to.


	2. Chapter 2

Saruhiko was somewhat surprised by Megumi’s restraint: despite pestering him until he exchanged numbers with her, she actually waited until two days after the goukon to call him. The day after that dreadful event had been spent anticipating an inconveniently-timed call or an interrupting text, and yet there had been nothing. Part of him had hoped it meant she had forgotten all about him. Part of him was terrified of what nefarious plans might be contributors to her silence. Either way, he certainly wasn’t going to be the one to make first contact. Even if perhaps he had maybe enjoyed spending time with her, just a little bit. Only a smidgeon. An iota. The most miniscule amount. Like, there were quarks with greater significance than the enjoyment he’d had, he was sure of it. 

Given the impression Megumi had left, he was of course miffed when his phone rang shortly after his last class of the day. Or perhaps resigned. Definitely not relieved to see Megumi seemed to be okay (no he had not been _worried_ when she hadn’t contacted him), or gratified to see her following through on her ~~promises~~ threats to talk more, or intrigued by what she might have to say. Nope, none of those. 

For all he knew, she was about to throw a bunch of suitors at him, or work towards tracking his unrequited crush down to prove him wrong or some other ridiculousness. Talk about annoying. 

“What is it?” he said when he picked up the call. 

“Wow, you totally answered the phone the way I thought you would.” Megumi sounded awed. Saruhiko found himself clicking his tongue, irritated at having been so easily predicted. He barely even knew this girl and she already thought she could guess his habits? Unacceptable. 

“Did you want something? Because if not I’m hanging up,” he groused. 

“Ugh, yeah. Wanna go someplace? Maybe hit up the batting center or something? Or maybe an arcade? Just, I gotta get out. If I go home right now, I might actually kill Minoru because that freakin’ nag has been driving me nuts lately!” 

“Minoru?” 

“My brother.” Ah, so that was her brother’s name. Minoru Fukuhara. 

Wait a second. That sounded familiar. 

“Is your brother taking Professor K’s class on logistics and analytics by any chance?” Saruhiko asked. 

“Yeah, he’s such a nerd,” Megumi scoffed. “But I love him. When he’s not bitching at me about wasting my time studying liberal arts, anyway.” 

“I have that class with him,” Saruhiko said. “And he’s right, you know. Liberal arts majors are notorious for their lack of employment prospects.” 

“Not making me feel better, Saruhiko.” 

“I wasn’t trying to make you feel better, just stating the facts,” Saruhiko drawled. “Or did you want me to lie and say he doesn’t know what he’s talking about?” 

“No, I wanted you to keep your mouth shut and come hang out with me ‘cuz that’s what friends do. There are times for harsh truths and times to be supportive, so since the former option failed why don’t you come do the latter!” 

Saruhiko couldn’t resist a smug smile at Megumi’s ire. 

“Fine. Where are you?” he asked. 

“I’m at the cafeteria. Come join me.” 

“That was the intention,” Saruhiko muttered. “I wouldn’t have asked where you were otherwise.” 

“If you’re gonna be grumpy I won’t treat you,” Megumi warned, and hung up. 

Saruhiko smiled as he put his phone back in his bag. He was still smiling when a voice suddenly shouted “Look out!” 

Something crashed into him before he got a chance to look up. He tumbled to the ground, and found himself staring dazedly at the sky. 

“Owww,” a voice complained. The same voice that had shouted at him a moment ago. “Fuckin’ shit. Goddamn it.” 

Saruhiko turned and his breath caught in his throat. On the ground just a few feet away was an upturned bicycle, and next to it was a short, scrawny redhead. The redhead winced, taking in the scene, and scrambled to his feet. “Ah shit. Hey, uh, sorry man. You okay?” he asked, and Saruhiko swore he’d only blinked but suddenly the redhead was there, right in front of him and peering at him nervously. 

“Yeah,” Saruhiko replied, his voice coming out low and gravelly. “I’m fine.” 

“Oh thank fuck,” the redhead sighed. “Here, let me help you up.” 

Before Saruhiko could say anything in response, the redhead had taken one of Saruhiko’s hands in his own and was hauling him upright. He then released Saruhiko ( _don’t let go, idiot!_ ) and bent to pick up his bike. Saruhiko took the opportunity to survey the other, comparing him to his memories. 

Back in middle school, Misaki Yata had been slightly shorter than most of the kids, and several times louder. He’d been athletic, but despite how much he ran around he’d still had the chubby cheeks of a child. His eyes had been bright sparks that seemed like they could light up the darkest room. 

The guy in front of Saruhiko wasn’t anything like that. He was still short and loud, that much hadn’t changed, but he was lean, almost painfully thin, and he seemed hollow. His eyes didn’t hold the same liveliness they once had, either. He seemed diminished, and it almost hurt to look at. 

He was still cute enough that it was all Saruhiko could do to keep from asking him out right then and there. 

Yata turned back to him, and Saruhiko prayed to all the gods that he didn’t believe in for his staring to have gone unnoticed. 

“Er, sorry ‘bout that,” Yata said, scratching the back of his head sheepishly. “I really didn’t expect anyone to be there.” 

“It’s fine,” Saruhiko said, trying to sound blase but sounding cold and disinterested instead. “No harm no foul,” he added. That was a little better, but not much. Damnit. He literally ran into his long-time crush after all these years, and he still acted all standoffish? What the hell was wrong with him?! This could be the chance of a lifetime! This was his moment to make things right between them, to make an impression, to do _something_. 

“Still, you could have gotten hurt,” Yata insisted. “If there’s anything I can do to make it up to you…” 

“Coffee,” Saruhiko blurted out on a whim. Yata cocked his head and frowned, confused, so Saruhiko elaborated. “Buy me coffee sometime.” 

“Oh!” Yata said, his eyes going wide as he understood. “Yeah sure. No problem. Do you know the Bean Juice Bistro over on, uh, what street is that again?” 

“I know it,” Saruhiko replied as Yata tapped his head, trying to remember. 

“Uh, right. Well, come by in the morning sometime. On a weekday. 5-9. I’ll be there.” 

“Do you just hang around a cafe all morning?” Saruhiko asked. Yata gave him a blank look, and he was about to explain that he didn’t want to keep the other waiting indefinitely but then Yata finally opened his mouth to respond. 

“No, I work there, dumbass. Who the hell has that kinda free time to just hang around for four fucking hours? Yeesh.” Yata shook his head in apparent disgust. 

“Oh,” Saruhiko replied, feeling rather stupid indeed. Silence fell between the two of them, and they both stood staring at the ground rather than each other. Awkward. 

“Um, well, if you’re okay then I guess I’d better-” Yata began, clearly intending to leave, and if the gods were being merciful to Saruhiko for once and giving him this moment then couldn’t he at least stick around a bit? Surely they knew how socially inept Saruhiko was and didn’t expect him to smoothly strike up a conversation and score a date. 

“You’re alright too?” Saruhiko interrupted. Yata blinked, apparently caught off guard. 

“Er, you asked if I was okay, but I didn’t get around to making sure you were okay as well,” Saruhiko elaborated. “And your bike?” 

“Oh, yeah, I’m fine,” Yata replied, and laughed. “I’ve got a pretty tough body. I can take a few hard knocks here and there, it’s cool. And my bike’s even tougher. I fixed it up myself, and ain’t nothin’ takin’ this thing down now!” he grinned, in apparent pride, and Saruhiko almost moaned at the sheer gloriousness of that smile, so blinding and pure and magnificent. 

“Anyway, I can’t really stick around, I’m on the clock,” Yata continued, picking up a discarded hat with the logo for a courier service. And now that Saruhiko looked, he noticed Yata had on a polo shirt with a matching logo. He mounted his bike then added, “but seriously, come by for a coffee sometime. My treat!” 

Saruhiko felt himself salivating far more than normal as he watched the redhead cycle off down the path and around a corner so that he was out of sight. He was definitely going to go get that free coffee. And who knew? He might just become a regular there at the Bean Juice Bistro. 

It was probably a full five minutes before Saruhiko remembered he was supposed to be going to meet Megumi. Right. Friend. Thing. That. Yes. Must hurry. 

Saruhiko jogged over to the cafeteria, and blanched when he saw the throng of people inside. Ah yes, there was a reason he had historically avoided that place: it was way too fucking crowded. Just the thought of entering that mess had him nauseated. Nope. Time to text Megumi. 

_I’m outside whenever you’re ready_ , he messaged her, then put his phone away and waited. About a minute later Megumi showed up, holding a pile of cookies in a napkin. 

“You took too long to get here so I’m not buying you lunch, but I did grab us some cookies,” she said. 

“When were you ever going to buy me lunch?” he asked, accepting a cookie. They were still warm even. Nice job, Megumi Fukuhara. 

“It was more something I implied?” Megumi said. “Like, I told you if you were being grumpy I wouldn’t buy you lunch, which implied if you weren’t grumpy I would? Plus, I dunno, it just seemed like something I ought to do since you’re coming to hang out with me when you probably have other things to do.” 

“Not really,” Saruhiko admitted. “My homework is pretty basic stuff so it won’t take long at all.” 

“Well still, I appreciate you hanging out with me on such short notice,” she said. “Honestly, I was kinda surprised you answered at all. I mean, sure we talked a fair bit the other night, but like, we barely know each other, so it wouldn’t have been too surprising if you’d like, deleted my number or something. So thanks. For not deleting my number. Or if you did, for answering anyway. And for coming to hang out.” 

“Yeah yeah, enough sappiness, let’s go do something already,” Saruhiko replied. If he didn’t brush off Megumi’s sincerity, he might end up replying in kind, and thanking her for actually bothering to call, and for trying to be friends with a difficult person like him. What a terrifying thought. “The cookies are good, by the way,” he added, because he supposed he shouldn’t act _completely_ heartless. Since Megumi seemed like the kind of person who might actually see right through him. 

“Right?” Megumi readily agreed. “They make some good cookies at the cafeteria- I think that’s gonna be all of my freshman fifteen, is their cookies. They’ve got one that’s like a chocolate cookie with white chocolate chips and macadamia nuts and it is just _sinful_. Wait, can it be sinful if it’s heaven in edible form?” 

Saruhiko had to chuckle at that as he stole another cookie. They walked along, eating cookies and chatting, and Saruhiko found himself in awe. So this is what friendship was like. It was surprisingly… mundane. And yet it was somehow quite warm, and relaxing. He thought about telling Megumi how special this moment was, his first time hanging out with someone who might be called a friend, but he didn’t want to ruin the moment by saying as much. Besides, Megumi might let it go to her head. 

Megumi ended up leading them to a batting center. It was Saruhiko’s first time going to one, and he had no idea how this worked. He wasn’t sure if he should bring this up, but Megumi seemed psychic because she suddenly looked at him just before they entered and asked, “You’ve been to one of these before, right?” Saruhiko shook his head. 

“I’ve never even held a baseball bat,” he confessed. 

“Well shit. Maybe we shoulda gone to an arcade after all.” Megumi pulled a face. “Do you want me to try and teach you, or you could try and figure it out on your own, or I could just get in a few swings and once I’m satisfied we’ll go someplace else, your choice.” 

“How hard can it be?” Saruhiko asked. 

As it turned out, it could be very hard. Saruhiko had good hand-eye coordination; he threw knives as a hobby for crying out loud. And yet even with the pitch machine set to the slowest setting and Megumi helping him, Saruhiko couldn’t seem to hit the damn ball. He heard snickers from a few of the other patrons and the staff members, and a few of his more spectacular misses had Megumi struggling to keep her own giggles in. It left him in a sour mood, and he vowed that they were definitely going to the arcade after this, because video games were something he was good at. 

After he’d given up, he sat around and watched Megumi, trying not to resent the ease with which she connected the bat and the ball. Unfortunately, he couldn’t stop himself from muttering “Pretending the ball is your brother?” After all, even if he’d never played baseball or really any kind of organized sport, he’d still heard people say you should imagine the ball was someone you disliked. It hadn’t been effective for him though. Mainly because the people he disliked were too real to him, and he was too used to being unable to fight back, and their mocking only got worse with every miss. If it wasn’t for the prospect of Yata treating him to coffee in the near-immediate future, he might even have fallen into a depressive slump. Thank heavens that guy had crashed into him. Him, and not someone else. He didn’t like the idea of Yata offering free coffee to someone else. 

Yikes, what was he doing being possessive of a guy he’d brushed off? Aya had told him before that he had issues, maybe she was right. Bitch. 

Of course, despite his low tone and all the background noise, Megumi still managed to hear him. 

“Y’know,” Megumi said, and then swung with a grunt as the machine pitched another missile at her. There was the loud crack of connection. “I’ve heard people recommend that before, but,” _grunt. Crack!_ “It doesn’t really work for me. I mean, if you miss, then it’s like,” _swish. Crack!_ “Like they’re taunting you, y’know? Plus that’s like, suuuuper violent, you get what I’m,” _fwoosh. Crack!_ “Saying? I don’t come here to be violent, I come here because I like the stretch in your elbows when,” _grunt. Crack!_ “You swing the bat, and the way it jars your arms when you hit the ball. It’s super satisfying.” Megumi grunted out the middle syllable of the last word, but the swing missed and the ball hit the fencing between her and Saruhiko with a _thwap_ and much rattling. “Plus just when I’m stressed, I like to move, y’know? Feels good.” There was one final pitch, and Megumi swung, the crack of the bat resounding almost musically. She put the bat away and stepped out of the batting cage with a grin. 

“Also I just like baseball,” she added. “It’s got a lot of fond memories for me. My dad and I used to play a lot. He originally signed my brother up for a little league, but Minoru hated it so he got me to stuff my hair up in a hat and wear his clothes and go practice for him. Of course, the coaches noticed right away, but the league didn’t have any rules against girls and I was having fun whereas Minoru hadn’t wanted to even try… He did come to all the games though, and not just ‘cause mom and dad made him. I’d always wave to him before batting as a good luck thing, and he’d wave back. And then after the games we’d all go get ice cream together. Those were some good times,” Megumi’s bright smile faded into something more wistful. Saruhiko didn’t quite understand happy reminiscence, but he supposed it would be a bittersweet feeling to recall happy times with someone who was growing away from you. 

It was strange, how by all means he should dislike Megumi with her pushy ways, but instead he was growing to enjoy her company. It was stranger still how many things had started to go well for him since he’d met her: he had a friend for the first time, he’d been promised coffee by his crush, he’d gotten to see his cousin at a bad moment for her… For the first time, Saruhiko almost felt compelled to think something he’d heard several times before but had always scorned: that life was good. 

“Anyway,” Megumi said, jarring Saruhiko out of his reverie. It wasn’t the first time she’d suddenly changed gears while he was mid-thought like that. Was it going to be a regular occurence? “Since I dragged you here and then you didn’t really get to do much, why don’t I get you some coffee next time? My brother works at a coffee shop for one of his jobs, though if we’re hanging out in the afternoon he’ll already be finished… Though it’s not like he can give me a discount for being his little sister so I guess it doesn’t matter if we go there when he’s not working.” 

It was the same offer his crush had made him earlier, and yet the effect was completely different. Earlier, when Yata had offered him coffee, it had left him feeling all fluttery inside. But now… well, he did feel a little fluttery, but that was only because he was recalling the other offer. Megumi’s offer of coffee was nice, but it didn’t feel particularly special. 

“No need,” Saruhiko replied. “You already pilfered cookies from the cafeteria. Let’s just go to the arcade because they have things I’m actually good at and then we can call it even.” 

* * *

Aya was on her way home from a meeting for her university’s literature club when she saw something so peculiar that she stopped in the middle of a fairly busy sidewalk. You could have bowled her over with a feather, and when people shoved past her with little patience for her sudden stupor, she barely kept her feet. But of all the things she might have expected to see on the walk to her apartment, Saruhiko smiling, genuinely _smiling_ , was not one of them. 

What made it stranger was that he seemed to be with someone. It was hard to tell, since Aya was across the street and Saruhiko was standing just inside an arcade, but if she craned her neck… 

Yeah, he was definitely with someone. And that someone was Misaki’s stepsister, Megumi. 

Aya definitely had to tell Misaki about this new development. It seemed the goukon had been a success after all, for both Misaki and for Aya herself. Misaki’s sister had found a new boyfriend in the wake of her rejection, and Aya’s rival had finally moved on. 

Aya smiled as she finally stopped gawking and rejoined the flow of people walking down the sidewalk. She had a 7:00 class tomorrow and while she could see Misaki at the coffee shop beforehand, she’d rather not. But she’d see him after class, and she couldn’t wait to break the good news to him then. 

* * *

Saruhiko had been tempted to set his alarm so he’d be awake and ready to show up at the Bean Juice Bistro right at 5, but he’d resisted. Instead he aimed to arrive at around 6:30. It was still a godforsaken hour of way too fucking early, but he couldn’t help but be eager. It just felt like the stars were aligning in his favor on this one. Or something like that. The stars aligning in his favor had just been how Megumi had phrased it at the arcade when she’d noticed his scraped palms and he’d explained about getting hit by his crush and the subsequent coffee invitation. And while he’d normally be inclined to scoff at her enthusiasm, he couldn’t help but think that maybe she was right. 

He would never admit it, but Saruhiko took extra care with his appearance that day, even washing out his hair gel and redoing it when it wasn’t lying just right. He also spent at least ten minutes agonizing over what outfit to wear; one shirt might compliment his eyes but be too similar to his jeans, but perhaps jeans were too casual a choice of pants to begin with, but he did like wearing that one vest which would look better with a different shirt after all… 

Deep down, Saruhiko was actually quite vain. Luckily, it was hidden well enough that no one would ever notice. 

Because of the time taken perfecting his style, it was almost 7 before Saruhiko arrived at the cafe. He walked in to see a smattering of patrons sipping their way back to life at a couple of the tables, and a girl at the register who was obviously absorbed in her phone. She didn’t look up as he approached the register, just reflexively rattled off a monotone greeting. 

“Hi, welcome to the Bean Juice Bistro, what can I get for…” the girl finally looked up, and something about Saruhiko made her trail off as her eyes narrowed and she studied him more intently. “...you,” she finished. Saruhiko clicked his tongue in irritation as the scrutiny continued. 

“Um, hang on a sec,” the girl added, and actually put her phone down next to the till before backing up a couple of steps and then calling over her shoulder, “Hey Yata, I think you’re needed at the register!” 

Saruhiko couldn’t help but be pleased that Yata seemed to have mentioned him to his coworker. Still, did the stupid girl have to announce it to the whole shop? Annoying. He clicked his tongue as Yata himself appeared from the back, his hair tousled in a way that made Saruhiko’s fingers itch for his phone so he could take a picture and stare at it later. It was, dare he say it?, cute. 

“What, is it the 7:30 rush alre-” Yata cut off, his eyes wide, as he spotted Saruhiko. His cheeks colored a bit, and he mumbled, “Oh. Right. Uh, thanks Yukimura.” 

The girl rolled her eyes and grabbed her phone, muttering, “I’ll be in the back if anyone else comes in,” before disappearing into the hall Yata had come from. 

“So,” Yata said, wiping his hands nervously on the horrible uniform apron he was wearing and stepping up to the register, “what can I get for you?” 

Something must have been seriously wrong with Saruhiko, because for a moment he considered using some corny line, like “I’d like a smile, please,” or “How about an iced coffee with an extra side of y-o-u,” or worse “You’re already here, what more could I want?”. No, no, nope, not happening, ew. 

“Whatever your darkest roast is,” he said tonelessly instead. He needed to act natural. But maybe he was acting too natural? People said his natural was pretty cold, after all. “No cream, no sugar, no syrups. Just as black as you can make it.” 

“Uh, okay,” Yata looked a bit perplexed for a second, but he shrugged it off quickly. “What size will that be?” 

“Normal,” Saruhiko replied, not sure what ridiculous sizing scheme this cafe used. “Whatever is most medium.” 

“So a medium then?” Yata asked, just a hint of a laugh in his voice. 

“...Yes,” Saruhiko said, sulking a bit at being laughed at. 

“And will that be for here or to-go?” Yata asked without missing a beat. He had some pretty smooth customer service skills, surprisingly. 

“To-go,” Saruhiko said automatically, because he never hung around places like these once he had his order. But he never had reason to. And today he had nowhere else to be for almost an hour. “I mean, for here!” he corrected, and damn he could feel the blush creeping up his neck. 

“So that’s one medium dark roast coffee for here then?” Yata rattled off calmly. His expression was mostly neutral, but the corners of his mouth were turned up slightly. 

“Yes,” Saruhiko said, barely curbing his instinct to click his tongue. 

“Alright, that’ll be just a second then,” Yata said, and moved to prepare the drink. Saruhiko stood aside to watch as Yata expertly moved around the area behind the counter. 

It may have been Saruhiko’s imagination, but he could have sworn there was a nimbus surrounding Yata as he worked. He couldn’t help but smile as Yata began to hum along to the song that was playing throughout the shop, off-key and off-beat but sounding happy all the same. When he finished the drink and turned to give it to Saruhiko, he had a gentle expression on his face; all soft eyes and rosy cheeks and and a small smile to top it all off. Saruhiko’s hand, which he’d been leaning his chin against to hide his smile, slipped, allowing his jaw to hang open like he was trying to catch flies in his mouth. As soon as he realized his mistake, he covered it by turning his gaping into a fake yawn. He doubted he was fooling anyone, but he had to try. Besides, it was early. People yawned early in the morning. It was totally a thing. Therefore, there was no need to feel so awkward about his obviously phony cover-up, right? 

If there was any kind of god in the world, they would help him out by having the earth hurry up and swallow him already. 

“Here you go,” Yata said. Saruhiko clicked his tongue, then muttered his thanks as he accepted the drink. 

“No prob,” Yata said in response to Saruhiko’s thanks. He grinned easily, and Saruhiko couldn’t help but to scowl to keep himself from grinning back and making a fool of himself. Correction: making a fool of himself again. He’d already made a fool of himself at least thrice, first with the size of the coffee and then again with his ogling and a third time with his feigned yawn that had been completely unconvincing. Oh wait, he’d also had to correct himself when he said his order would be to-go. Four times, danggit. 

“So, uh, you go to Habari U?” Yata asked, hesitance in his entire manner. His hands were fisted in his apron and his eyes kept shifting, but when they finally met Saruhiko’s they were shining. Yata was also leaning against the counter, angling himself towards Saruhiko in a way that got Saruhiko’s hopes up. 

_Maybe, just maybe, he’s interested in me too?_ Saruhiko thought, but he immediately dismissed it. Yeah right. What reason could Yata possibly have to be interested in him? 

“Or not,” Yata said, casting his gaze downwards. Crap, Saruhiko had been silent too long. “I guess you were just there yesterday, huh?” 

“I go there,” Saruhiko admitted, taking a deep breath before saying it so he wouldn’t blurt it out like when he’d corrected his order. 

“Oh, y-you do?” And damnit. Yata sounded so hopeful, but surely Saruhiko was reading too much into it. 

“That’s what I just said, isn’t it?” Saruhiko clicked his tongue, and then decided to take a chance. “And you? Do you work for that courier service or were you just standing in for a friend?” 

“Uh, yeah, I work there,” Yata said. “I’m pretty fast on a bike, so it’s a good job for me. Though I’d be even faster on a skateboard…” Yata’s lower lip stuck out in the slightest of pouts. Cute. 

“And you also work here. Two jobs, huh. Must be tiring.” 

“Three,” Yata said, and Saruhiko blinked. Yata’s hand instantly reached up to scratch at the back of his head. “I work three jobs, actually. I also do shifts at a convenience store. And yeah, it is tiring.” 

“Didn’t go to college then?” Saruhiko asked. He instantly regretted it, as a shadow crossed Yata’s face. 

“There’s no way I could, right?” Yata asked. He laughed helplessly. “I mean, I didn’t go to high school, after all. And if I couldn’t even pass my high school entrance exams, how the hell would I pass the ones for college?” 

Well that explained why he hadn’t been at the same high school as Saruhiko. Saruhiko couldn’t help but kick himself, because maybe if they’d somehow become friends in middle school, he could have helped Yata study for his exams and then they really could have gone to high school together. But no, having friends was impossible back in middle school, when _that man_ was still alive. 

“Though I guess if it were you, you could figure out a way,” Yata continued. “I mean, obviously you’d never flunk your exams, since you’re smart, but because you’re so smart you’d find a way to go to college even without finishing high school.” 

Saruhiko almost forgot himself and let his jaw fall open again. He just barely kept himself under control. 

“What do you mean, ‘since I’m smart’?” he asked. Because yes, he was, but when had Yata noticed it? 

“W-well you are!” Yata mumbled, the flush on his cheeks darkening and expanding across his face. “I mean, you were always fiddling with like, your PDA and stuff back in middle school…” 

“PDAs have many functions that make them useful. Fiddling with them is common,” Saruhiko replied blandly. 

“Yeah but! Like, you wouldn’t be playing games, or you would, but like, the one time those third years broke yours, and you fixed it yourself. It was super cool! I could never do that! And I don’t think most people could. Like, I think Oogai maybe could, and maybe Minoru, but like, that’s really rare! And just, I’m an idiot, and even I can tell you’re smart, so- so you’re really smart!” 

Yata’s volume was getting a little high, and they were beginning to attract gazes from some of the other customers, but somehow, Saruhiko didn’t mind. Let them stare. They’d just see that he had Yata’s attention. _Him_. Not any of them. He liked it like this, being the sole focus of the person who had captured his interest for so long, so in that moment, nothing else mattered. 

“It’s not that hard,” Saruhiko said lowly, turning his attention to his coffee mug and studying it so that he could keep his facial expression under control. If he smiled right now, Yata might find him creepy, and that would probably be the end for him. Then again, was him being gloomy any better? Yata probably found him troublesome either way. 

“Quit selling yourself short, what you can do is amazing!” Yata said, and Saruhiko looked up to see the shorter man’s eyes shining. He was leaning in even more, and the look on his face… Saruhiko tried to look back at the mug but he was already captivated. There was no looking away from such beauty. It was like stars: up close like the sun they were blinding but from a distance they became gentle guideposts to help one find one’s way. And Saruhiko had been lost for so long. 

Suddenly, Saruhiko wasn’t so worried about Yata finding him creepy. After all, Yata found him amazing, didn’t he? 

A bell dinged and a small group of customers walked in, startling them. Yata jumped back as if he’d gotten a static shock, and Saruhiko couldn’t help but feel disappointed at the way Yata was no longer leaning in. He finally began to sip his coffee, which was just as dark as his soul yet just as warm as Yata made him feel inside- in other words, it couldn’t possibly have been better. As Yata greeted the customers, the girl from before reappeared from the back hallway and she and Yata began taking and filling orders. 

It wasn’t until later, after he’d finished his coffee and was on his way to campus for classes that Saruhiko remembered Yata mentioning Aya. He wondered if Yata was still in touch with Aya; if so, he didn’t like it. After all, Yata hadn’t gone to high school, so it’s not like they would have kept seeing each other unless they went out of their way to, like maybe if they were dating. But no, Yata probably wouldn’t have been so nice if he still talked to Aya, and they definitely wouldn’t be dating or else Aya wouldn’t have been at the goukon. 

Yata had also mentioned a Minoru. Was it the same Minoru as Megumi’s brother? Maybe Saruhiko should ask. But it was a bit much to expect Megumi to know all her brother’s friends, and Saruhiko didn’t know Minoru well enough to randomly ask him about his acquaintances so casually. Maybe he could ask Yata about it next time. 

Because before leaving, Saruhiko had found out what convenience store Yata worked at, and had promised to see him at one of his jobs again, so there would _definitely_ be a next time. 

* * *

Misaki looked happier than Aya had seen him in years when she entered the coffee shop. Maybe something good had happened to him. She would have liked her news to be the thing that cheered him up, but she didn’t mind just adding extra buoyancy to his mood. As long as he got to be happy for once. 

“You seem cheerful,” she said as she stepped up to the counter. Misaki just grinned back at her and rattled off her order. 

“One large iced mocha creme de cafe with five pumps of caramel, extra sugar, extra whip, and toffee pieces on top to-go?” he asked, already inputting the order into the register. 

“Yes,” Aya replied, handing over her card before Misaki even read off her total. “Did like, something good happen recently?” she asked as he swiped the card and the transaction processed. 

“Dunno, maybe,” he replied, returning her card and moving to grab a cup for her. “Hard to tell yet. But… I think so.” A flush blossomed on Misaki’s face as he spoke, and Aya felt a twinge of nervousness. Had someone asked Misaki out? But surely no. There was no one else he was close to, right? Unless it was some regular customer? Aya resisted the impulse to glare around the shop at the other customers. 

“That’s great! Aya’s like, suuuper glad to hear it,” she said. “But guess what? Aya also has some good news for Misaki. You’ll be like, really happy, Aya promises.” 

“Oh yeah?” Misaki asked over his shoulder as he worked on her drink. “What happened? Did you ace a really tough exam or something?” 

Aya sighed dramatically. It was sweet of Misaki to think that was her good news, but like, exams were never really tough for her. This was about something he’d tried to help with and had thought he’d failed at but had actually succeeded. 

“No, just like, listen to Aya for a sec.” 

Misaki put the finishing touches on the drink and handed it over, then leaned against the counter and waited. Aya took a sip of her drink to heighten the suspense before continuing. 

“So like,” Aya began, “you know that goukon that Aya set up for Megumi to meet someone?” Misaki nodded. “The one that Aya thought was a total disaster?” Misaki nodded again. “Well, maybe it didn’t go so badly as Aya thought.” She smiled into her drink, enjoying the bafflement that appeared on Misaki’s face. 

“Wait, what do you mean?” Misaki asked. 

“You remember Fushimi from middle school?” Aya asked. “Aya’s second cousin, really gloomy and emo, has no friends?” 

Misaki’s expression seemed to waver between surprised and offended for a second, but then it returned to normal as he nodded yet again. 

“I remember him,” Misaki said. “You used to hang out with him in our first year, and that’s how we ended up talking since he sat near me.” 

“Right. Well, you remember how he like, never smiled, yeah?” Aya continued. Misaki was beginning to look a little uncomfortable for some reason, but he nodded. “Okay good. So like, he was actually at that goukon as well, and like, it was kinda his fault everything went wrong, but like, he and Megumi and the other girl all got mad and left together, and like, Aya thought that was it, but like, yesterday? Aya like, totally saw him hanging out with Megumi, and like, he was totally laughing! Like, he looked like he was having fun, and Aya’s known him all her life and she’s never seen him like that before. They’re like, totally dating now, Aya’s sure of it, so like, the goukon was a success after all. Megumi found a boyfriend to help her get over that jerk who turned her down!” 

“Oh, that’s… great,” Misaki said. He didn’t seem nearly as pleased as he should be though. In fact, if anything he seemed to be in low spirits all of a sudden. 

“Misaki?” Aya asked, puzzled. “Is something wrong? Did you like, meet some really nice guy who seemed interested in Megumi?” 

“No, it’s nothing,” Misaki said, looking down. When he looked back up again, there was his usual fake smile, the one that had so much weight in it that it could barely hold itself up but it did its best all the same. Aya hated that smile. She couldn’t help but think that if she were a better friend, then Misaki would still be genuinely happy about things and that smile would never have appeared. 

Aya wanted to scream. She’d come here to make Misaki happy, but somehow her news had done just the opposite, and yet he was trying to play it off with “it’s nothing”. It obviously _wasn’t_ nothing! Why did he feel the need to lie to her? Wasn’t she his oldest friend? His closest friend? Hadn’t she been there for him through thick and thin? 

Aya really liked Misaki. But sometimes, when he was like this, she also hated him just a little bit.


	3. Chapter 3

Saruhiko meant to go back to the coffee shop the next day, he really did. He also meant to stop by the convenience store where Misaki worked, since he did need to stock up on food and coffee. But the same day he went to the coffee shop for the first time, one of his classmates asked for help programming something, and it ended up taking until almost noon two days later before the project was completed to satisfaction. It would have been faster if he’d done it himself, but the classmate had wanted to do most of the work because they had stupid ethics that would not allow them to “take credit for someone else’s work”. Annoying. 

When he was finally free of his toils at the hands of his classmate, Saruhiko went straight home to shower and change clothes. He’d skipped his first class that day, and was tired enough that he saw nothing to be gained in going to the rest of his classes. After a quick meal, he immediately relocated to his futon and fell asleep. 

He was in the middle of a rather pleasant dream involving Yata when his phone woke him up. He snatched it up easily, used to grabbing it when the alarm went off, and stared blearily at the caller id: Megumi. He figured they were close enough that she wouldn’t be too offended if he just answered the phone with a groan. 

“Oh, bad time?” Megumi asked, astute as ever. 

“I spent the last two days slaving away on some idiot’s project and was finally getting some sleep,” Saruhiko replied. 

“Oops. My bad. I forgot to check my crystal ball before calling,” Megumi replied sarcastically. She then continued on, her voice becoming genuine. “But I actually am sorry about waking you up. I’ll let you get back to sleep.” 

“Can’t,” Saruhiko said. “Once I wake up there’s no falling back asleep for a few hours.” 

“Insomnia?” Megumi asked. 

“Old habits.” Saruhiko tried to keep the dark edge out of his voice as he thought about his childhood nights spent listening for any sound that might imply activity from _that man_. “So what did you want?” 

“I was gonna head over to see my brother and get dinner with him and was hoping you could come along,” Megumi said. “You both could use some more friends.” Saruhiko was pretty sure he should feel insulted by that but he couldn’t seem to find it within himself to be bothered, and besides, Megumi was already continuing. “My brother only ever hangs out with Aya from the goukon, and she’s…” 

“A bitch?” Saruhiko offered. 

“I thought you two were related?” Megumi said, her voice rising in confusion. 

“We are. That doesn’t mean she’s not a bitch though. My family’s full of unpleasant people.” 

“Ah, so you come by it naturally,” Megumi teased. 

“You’re the one who wanted to be friends,” Saruhiko reminded her. “Anyway, where are we meeting up?” 

“The park where we hung out that first time’s not too far from his place. It’s about a five block walk from there, so that would be a good place to meet.” 

“Right. I can be there in about twenty minutes.” 

“Great. See you in a bit then!” 

Megumi hung up and Saruhiko slid his phone into his pocket. He quick used the bathroom and then grabbed his jacket, wallet, and keys and headed out the door, taking a cab to the park. He was the first to arrive, and found a bench to sit on, just like the previous time he’d been there. He only had to wait about two minutes before a bus pulled up across the street and Megumi got off. When she saw him, she waved enthusiastically and gestured for him to come over, and he was tempted to pretend he didn’t know her. Was she trying to be embarrassing? He reluctantly got up from the bench and crossed the street, scowling in opposition to the grin Megumi was wearing. 

“Thanks for coming along,” she said when he reached her. 

“You woke me up. I might as well do something since I won’t be sleeping,” he grumbled back as Megumi indicated the direction they needed to go and the two of them headed off down the road. 

“Yeah, but I feel bad waking you up,” Megumi said. “Plus I’m dragging you off for something pretty random, so I guess it’s kinda weird, huh.” 

“Megumi, our entire friendship has been pretty random from the start,” Saruhiko told her flatly. Megumi laughed. 

“Yeah, I guess you’re right. Still, being friends with you isn’t the strangest thing I’ve ever done.” 

“Do I even want to know,” Saruhiko asked in an undertone. 

“You probably don’t,” Megumi admitted. “But hey, I was like, eight. Kids have special license for weirdness.” 

Saruhiko looked over at her and raised an eyebrow rather than reply. Megumi caught the action in her peripheral vision and shook her head in amusement. 

The apartment building they finally arrived at was a bit shabby looking, but not quite to the point of being run-down. The building was discolored from dirt dust and the car exhaust that mixed with the city air, and the paint on the unit doors was faded. There were cracks along the sidewalk and porch, some of which were sealed with foam to prevent them from getting any worse. There was no elevator, either, which made Saruhiko wonder if perhaps this wasn’t a rather old building. If so, then it was amazing it wasn’t worse off. 

They headed up an open stairwell which smelled of piss and cigarette smoke, avoiding a few suspicious-looking puddles and stepping around old candy car wrappers. When they got to the right floor, Megumi led the way down the outdoor hall to one of the doors and produced a key. 

“It’s mom’s,” she said as she pushed it into the lock. “In case of emergencies. I use it more than she does though. Someone’s gotta drag him out every now and then.” 

“You really didn’t need to explain that,” Saruhiko told her. 

“I know,” Megumi said. She turned the door handle and swung the door open, letting herself in with a call of “Hey, it’s me.” Saruhiko followed and shucked his shoes, nudging them to the side with his foot so they wouldn’t be in the way. 

There was a vague “Hmmm” of acknowledgement as Saruhiko took in his surroundings. There was a kitchenette just left of the door, with a living room space straight ahead. Beyond the kitchenette was a hall that presumably led to the bathroom and bedroom. However, more noticeably, there was a general state of disorder taking over the apartment: there was a stack of dishes in the sink, the counter was littered with papers, and there were clothes draped haphazardly on several different surfaces, including the furniture, the floor, and there was even a shirt dangling off the fridge. 

“Yeesh, don’t you ever clean up in here?” Megumi asked as she picked her way into the living room. There was a couch there, with a hoodie-clad figure seated on it, and a TV- the screen was bright and Saruhiko could hear the familiar sound of a video game controller being abused under someone’s thumbs. 

“I don’t have time during the week,” the person on the couch mumbled, and that voice sounded alarmingly familiar. Saruhiko trailed after Megumi in a daze, wondering if his ears were deceiving him. “You know that,” the person added, glancing away from the video game to glare at Megumi, an action Saruhiko understood all too well. The half-hearted glare faded, however, as the person on the couch saw Saruhiko behind Megumi, and their eyes met. 

Yata. 

The person on the couch was Yata. 

Yata’s entire head turned to openly stare at Saruhiko, who was staring back. The color drained from Yata’s face, and Saruhiko was certain the same thing was happening to him. He couldn’t tell if fate was giving him a gentle pat on the back, saying, “Here, I’ve lined everything up nicely for you,” or if it was rolling on the floor and laughing at this situation. Somehow, Saruhiko was inclined the believe the latter; fate was never that kind, not to him. 

“Oh yeah, I brought a friend,” Megumi said, oblivious to just what was happening right next to her. “This is Fushimi. He’s a bit of a grump and a huge nerd, but he and I were at the arcade the other day and he kicked my ass so I was hoping you could avenge me.” 

Neither Yata or Saruhiko moved an inch. Saruhiko felt like he should say something at this point, but what? His mind could process very little at the moment. His chief thoughts were his absolute shock at the situation, a vague awareness of the fact that Yata had been in the middle of a boss fight and was now getting slaughtered since his hands had stilled on the controller, and an appreciation of Yata’s current attire- his oversized hoodie hung down to his mid-thighs, with a flash of color at the hem to indicate that he had boxers underneath, but otherwise his legs were bare. Of the three, none seemed appropriate to comment on at the moment. “What are you doing here?” couldn’t be right, since that should really have been Yata’s line. “You should probably use an elixir right now,” also wasn’t much good, since by the time he finished saying it Yata would probably already have died. And “You look really sexy like that, thanks for giving purpose to my life,” was definitely out, because that was a bit much for two guys who barely knew each other. For all he knew, Yata was very straight and homophobic to boot. 

“Uh, nii-san?” Megumi said. “You’re about to die.” 

Yata jumped, and glanced at the TV, then back at Saruhiko, and then to the TV again as the boss finished his character off and the screen went black before switching to the “You have died” screen. 

“I- I’m gonna go change!” Yata suddenly announced, and abruptly shoved the controller aside and stood up. He hurried from the room, stumbling as his feet got tangled in a pair of discarded pants. 

“Are you drooling?” Megumi asked once a door had slammed somewhere down the hall. 

“Of course I am,” Saruhiko snapped. “But more importantly, I thought you said we were going to see your brother.” 

“Uh, yeah?” 

“But your brother is Minoru, and that’s not Minoru Fukuhara.” 

“Except Minoru’s not my only brother, genius,” Megumi huffed, rolling her eyes. “I have two.” 

“Except how was I supposed to know that your other brother Misaki fucking Yata?” Saruhiko hissed desperately. He really hoped Yata couldn’t hear them right now. “I thought your last name was Fukuhara!” 

“It is. We’re step-siblings. Misaki-nii kept his dad’s last name even after his mom married my dad. But nevermind that. You two know each other?” 

“You may recall me mentioning a certain long-term crush?” Saruhiko prompted. 

“Yeah, what about it?” Megumi said, the beginnings of suspicion in her eyes. Saruhiko jerked his head toward the hallway, and Megumi’s eyes widened. “Wait, really?” she stage-whispered. 

“No, I’m just bullshitting this because making a scene is so much fun,” Saruhiko replied irritably. “Yes really. Which is why I need to leave. Now. Or sooner. Before the fact that I am really gay for your brother ends up embarrassing us all!” 

“If it’s any consolation I’m pretty sure he’s already embarrassed since he got seen in his underwear,” Megumi said lightly. “If you were a girl he probably would have combusted on the spot. For a guy who’s only friend is a girl, he’s really bad around them.” 

“You’re really not helpful, you know that,” Saruhiko muttered. 

“I know,” Megumi said. 

Yata finally came back from the hallway, his legs hidden beneath a baggy pair of sweatpants. The hoodie was now tied around his waist, and he had on a loose sweater. Saruhiko missed the previous ensemble. It had been a lot more appealing. 

“Er, um, s-sorry,” Yata mumbled hesitantly. “About… _that_. And also… about… the mess… and all…” 

“We can help you clean up a bit if you’d like,” Megumi offered. Saruhiko fought to keep his expression neutral. He wanted to bail, not be enlisted into maid service. 

“Wha-?” Yata yelped. He looked around at the mess in a panic, as if he expected to see evidence of a gristly murder or something lying around. “There’s no need for that!” 

“Ooooookay,” Megumi said. “Well then, what did you want to eat? Pizza?” 

“Ick,” Saruhiko said before he could stop himself. But pizza had tomato sauce. 

“Or not,” Megumi continued, unperturbed. “Do you still have all those take-out leaflets?” she asked. 

“Uh, yeah, they’re in the…” Yata trailed off as his eyes strayed to Saruhiko and failed to move on, almost as if they’d been glued there. 

“Where did you say they were?” Megumi asked loudly, and Yata jumped. 

“Oh, right. Um, this way,” Yata said, and headed into the kitchen. After some rummaging around, he produced some takeout menus- many of which were stained with grease or unidentified sauces- which he handed to Megumi, who in turn handed them to Saruhiko. Yata’s gaze followed the takeout menus, and once again seemed to get stuck on Saruhiko. It might have been offensive, but Yata looked almost wonderstruck, as well as a bit confused and a little hurt. All Saruhiko could figure was that Yata had been expecting him to show up at one of his jobs like he’d promised. 

“Fried chicken is fine,” Saruhiko said after perusing the pamphlets. 

“Sounds good to me,” Megumi said, and glanced at Yata, who hurriedly looked away from Fushimi and nodded his agreement. “I’ll have to go pick it up though,” Megumi said. 

“I-I can go!” Yata said. “I’ll be faster.” 

“Do you really want to try and carry food for three people while skateboarding?” Megumi asked with exaggerated patience. “Because somehow, I doubt it. You just sit tight, and maybe you can get around to avenging me at video games like I suggested while you wait. Good? Great.” Megumi was already putting on her shoes as she spoke, and edging her way out the door. “Kay bye!” she called as she shut the door behind her. 

Just what the hell was she up to? 

* * *

For Misaki Yata, while life hadn’t been terrible or anything, it had certainly had more downs than up. Like his dad dying when he was three. He could just remember his dad, but only barely, but he remembered being held high in the air, and sometimes he’d be tossed ever-so-gently, and he’d known even then that there was no reason to be afraid because his dad would always catch him. Only then his dad had up and died, and it had been like he’d been tossed and just kept falling. 

Still, life had gone on, with just Misaki and his mom, and they had been fine even with just the two of them. He’d had a normal and happy childhood, and had even managed to get into a good middle school. Things had seemed so promising then. 

But then life started throwing worse and worse things at him. Middle school had been boring. Worse still, his friends had all turned out to hate him, leaving him completely and utterly alone. Even after he was befriended by Oogai, he still felt really alone. Then his mom suddenly started dating a guy, a recently divorced single dad. And that should have been fine. Really, it should have. Fukuhara-san was a nice guy. He treated Misaki’s mom with all the respect and love she deserved, he tried to bond with Misaki but understood Misaki needed time to adjust, and was all-around a pretty cool guy. His kids were nice too- Misaki didn’t think he’d be best friends with them or anything, but he thought he could get along with them. But somehow, seeing Fukuhara-san and his kids and Misaki’s mom together, all happy and harmonious like a perfect nuclear family, it just made Misaki all too aware that if he joined them, he would, quite literally, be the red-headed stepchild. 

Things only got worse after the marriage. Minoru was just two months younger than Misaki, and they took their high school entrance exams together. Minoru passed the exams for all the schools he’d tried, and had his pick of which to go to. Misaki had failed them all. Everyone had been supportive, saying maybe he could try again next year, but Misaki knew better. He’d never pass. And even if he did, so what? He was the one who didn’t belong, the failure. Instead of signing up for a cram school, he’d gone and gotten his first job as a gas station attendant. He’d saved up his money until he had enough to move out on his own. And once again, things had started to seem okay. 

And then his mom had been diagnosed with cancer. 

Even with Misaki out of the house, the Fukuharas were a four-person family. That meant they had two kids to put through school and to pay the bills for, and with Misaki’s mom in the hospital that meant Fukuhara-san had to support everyone on his own. And maybe Misaki didn’t belong with them, but that didn’t mean he didn’t owe them anything. He’d quit at the gas station since the hours sucked and gotten hired at a coffee shop and a restaurant. He’d taken on all the extra hours he could, worked extra hard to try and ensure good tips, and he’d been doing well until he started having problems with his manager at the restaurant. In the end, he’d seen no choice but to quit. He’d found the courier job, and then Aya had found him the job at the convenience store, and that had gotten him this far. He was tired. But if he could help his family with the bills then he would do it. 

It had been a few years since then, and his mom was in remission and doing well, and Misaki had been wondering if maybe he could let himself relax a little when he’d run into Saruhiko Fushimi out of the blue. 

Back in middle school, Fushimi had been a loner type, too cool for friends. Misaki had tried to rescue him from some bullies once. They’d ended up getting their asses whooped together. Afterwards, Misaki had tried to talk to Fushimi, only to get shut down rudely. Which had been fine and all, but after that Misaki had fallen out with his friends and ended up alone, and then he’d begun to see how cool Fushimi was, and then Oogai, who had spent all of their first year hanging out with Fushimi, had become Misaki’s friend, and he found out they were second cousins, but despite the fact that Oogai and Fushimi were related and Misaki and Oogai were friends, Misaki never got another chance to try to talk to Fushimi, even though he’d always wanted to. He just felt like maybe someone should tell Fushimi just how cool and smart and gorgeous he was, that was all. And maybe he wanted to be friends with someone who was so cool and smart and gorgeous, just a little. Maybe he kinda hoped that someday they could be more. 

Running into Fushimi had seemed like a stroke of luck. He’d invited Fushimi to the coffee shop, and they’d talked a bit, and Fushimi had implied he would come back, and that he’d also come by the convenience store as well. And Misaki had thought that maybe it was a sign things might finally go his way for once. 

He really should have known better. 

Less than an hour after Fushimi left the coffee shop, Oogai came by and told Misaki that Fushimi and Megumi were dating. Misaki had found it odd that no one in his family had mentioned Megumi having a boyfriend all of a sudden, but then, he didn’t call as often as he should. And Fushimi hadn’t come by like he was supposed to, so that was just more proof that he was taken and therefore not interested in someone as pathetic as Misaki was. 

And now, life had just thrown him one of the most humiliating downs of all time. He couldn’t even begin to imagine which was the worst part of it all. The guy he maybe kinda sorta had a crush on was in his apartment. Said guy had been brought by his sister, who was presumably going to introduce said guy as her new boyfriend. His apartment, that his maybe-crush was standing in, was a mess because he’d been too tired to clean lately. His sister and his crush had walked in on him when he was sitting around in his underwear. And to top it all off, his crush was totally ogling him sitting around in his underwear. Misaki was absolutely mortified. 

And of course the boxers he was wearing were really old and stained and you could see the elastic in the waistband. Thank god they’d been mostly covered by his hoodie. 

Misaki had fled to his room, changed into something more presentable, then had climbed out the window onto the fire escape to scream into a pillow to relieve some stress before rejoining his sudden guests. 

Presently, it was just Misaki and Fushimi, alone in his living room while Megumi went to go get their dinner. Misaki fidgeted, wanting to say something but uncertain what there was to be said. Maybe he should apologize again for earlier? Or should he do the older brother thing and try and sound Fushimi out and make sure he was good enough for Misaki’s little sister? No, that felt too self-serving, because really he’d be trying to learn about Fushimi out of his own interest. Megumi deserved better than that. She and Minoru had both done their best to support Misaki, trying to get him to come home sometimes and making sure he knew there were people who cared about him and would be there for him if he ever needed or wanted it. Sometimes he almost forgot they weren’t really his younger siblings. 

“Is Megumi always so pushy?” 

Misaki jumped at the sound of Fushimi’s voice. Damn, he’d been silent too long. And how was he supposed to answer that? He didn’t want to ruin his sister’s relationship by making her look bad in any way, so he had to be careful. 

“Uhhhh, I guess? She’s- she’s just strong-willed, y’know?” That probably didn’t sound very reassuring. Crap. He was messing up already. This was why he should have been the one to go get their food. Why had Megumi left the two of them here? 

“I see.” At the very least, Misaki could comfort himself with the fact that Fushimi looked just as uncomfortable as he felt. “Sorry,” Fushimi added suddenly. At Misaki’s blank look he explained, “About your game. That was the final stage of that boss fight, and now you’ll have to start from the beginning again.” 

“Oh yeah…” Misaki sighed, remembering how long it had taken for him to get that far in the boss fight. He hated it when a boss had multiple stages. And this particular boss’s second stage was tough, dealing heavy damage attacks that couldn’t be dodged; it had taken him an embarrassing amount of attempts to get past that second stage. He wasn’t looking forward to another try. “Well at least I’ll have all my items back,” he said ruefully. 

“There’s a side quest that’ll help you, but it’s hidden,” Fushimi said. “Back in the last town, if you destroy all the barrels a portal opens up behind the tavern, though only for a minute. If you go through that there’s a merchant, and if you skip out of his shop dialogue and talk to him again he’ll ask you to go into the forest and collect some rare vines. If you do that, he’ll give you an item that will halve the damage of that boss’s attacks. It only works against that boss though, so once you finish the fight you should sell it.” 

“Wait, really?” Misaki asked. He was a little surprised Fushimi knew so much about the game. Surprised… and pleased. 

“Try it and see,” Fushimi grumbled, but there was no real irritation in his voice, and a slight twitch at the corners of his mouth may have been a smile. 

“Hey thanks!” Misaki replied, already grabbing his controller and bringing the system back to life. The screen returned to the “You Have Died” menu, and Misaki cringed as he remembered that he’d forgotten to turn things off properly in his haste to flee from that moment of being stared at. He selected the “Load Game” option, and returned to his last save point, which, conveniently enough, was in the town Fushimi had mentioned. As he began smashing barrels, Fushimi settled in behind him, standing and leaning against the back of the couch. Misaki tried not to get distracted by the fact that he could feel Fushimi’s breath on his head, but it was difficult, especially when Fushimi would speak up every now and then to direct Misaki. 

It took a little while for Misaki to complete the side quest, but once he did, he saved the game and then quit, remembering Megumi’s request that he beat Fushimi for her. 

“So what kinds of games are you good at?” he asked, craning his neck backwards to look up at Fushimi. 

“Nothing in particular,” Fushimi replied, with a look that said “all of them”. 

“Well what’s your favorite?” Yata asked. “Come on, tell me. I’ve got a few racing games, and _Afterlook_ , and _Koujin_ , there’s also the PVP mode in _Mineral Cog Substance_. Oh, and there’s a skateboarding game that has a fight mode.” 

“ _Afterlook_ ’s fine. I bet I can guess your favorite character.” 

“Ha, as if!” Misaki shot back. 

“Deathpunch,” was all Fushimi said in reply. Misaki froze, because that was actually right, damnit. 

“W-well, I bet you’re easy to guess too! Y-you probably play as…” Oh crap. Who would Fushimi play as? Should he just go generic and say Tracker? But no, Fushimi wasn’t one to be so basic. “J-jin,” Misaki finished. Crap, Jin, was a fairly basic character too! 

“Wrong,” Fushimi sang, leaning in close. And oh crap, too close, too close, not good! “Or perhaps, partially correct. I play as all of them. Though I am partial to Severa. She’s relatable.” 

“Severa? But she’s a girl!” Misaki squeaked, backing away. 

“How does that matter? I also play as the other female characters. Orphaner is also a good one.” 

“Orphaner’s even worse than Severa!” 

“Oh?” Fushimi asked, a wicked glint in his eyes. “Does their attire bother you, Misaki? Such a virgin.” 

Misaki tried not to blush at the virgin comment. Yes he was, but that was hardly relevant, was it? 

“Don’t call me that!” he snapped instead. 

“What, virgin?” Fushimi asked. 

“No!” Misaki immediately denied, then thought better of it, because he didn’t exactly enjoy being called a virgin either. “I mean, yes, but also don’t call me that name! It sounds so girly!” 

“Then how about this: if I beat you with Severa or Orphaner, I get to call you Misaki from now on.” Fushimi had a confident smirk on his face, and no way could Misaki let him keep that look. 

“You can use any character you want, but you’re not gonna beat me!” he fired back. “You’re on!” 

By the time Megumi returned with their chicken twenty minutes later, Misaki had yet to win even once. He’d tried all the characters he could think of: Hattori, Jin, Grim, Tracker, Trashpanda- it didn’t matter who he played as, Fushimi always won. It was humiliating. 

And also kinda attractive, but he wasn’t the kind of person who could be okay with getting the hots for his sister’s boyfriend. That just wasn’t cool. 

But as embarrassing as getting his ass handed to him in video games had been, he immediately missed it once they turned the console off and began eating. While they’d been gaming, he and Fushimi had been getting along pretty well. They’d had a good vibe going. But without the game Misaki felt himself becoming desperate to cover up his crush, causing him to clam up. When he was forced to talk, he would keep his answers stilted. And when it was Fushimi forcing him to talk… Misaki wanted to die with how many times his voice cracked, how gruff and borderline aggressive his responses were, and how much he blushed. There was definitely something wrong with him, for him to act this way. Still, better to have Fushimi think he was a weirdo or a total jerk than for him, or Megumi, to realize the truth. That would be the worst. 

Thankfully, the two guests didn’t stay long. After they all finished eating, Megumi extracted a promise from Misaki that he would clean up his apartment, and reminded him that he should head home to visit some time, and then she and Fushimi finally left. Misaki spent about half an hour stress-cleaning to try and release some of the self-loathing the evening’s events had brought on. He stopped not because his apartment was tidy again- his efforts had been too unorganized to really achieve much more than getting his dirty laundry off the floor- but because he got a call from Aya. Aya who had told him about Megumi’s new boyfriend, and who was his only real friend, and who had stood by him through his troubles in the past. He didn’t really feel like talking to her, but he supposed if he was going to vent to anyone about this new development, it would have to be her. 

“Hey,” he said as he answered the phone. 

“Misaki, you like, don’t work on Sunday, right?” Aya asked, even though she knew his work schedule as well as he did. 

“Yeah,” he said. 

“Great. So like, Aya was given these movie tickets on Sunday, and like, all Aya’s friends from university already have plans, so like, Misaki should totally come to the movies with me. And then we could get lunch together afterward, and like, hang out. Because like, Aya only ever sees Misaki at work anymore.” 

“Yeah, that sounds fine,” Misaki replied, silently wishing Aya would stop it with that style of speech already. “What time should we meet up?” 

“The tickets Aya got are for 10:00, so we should meet at the theater by 9:45,” Aya said. 

“Okay, I’ll see you then,” Misaki promised. As he hung up the phone, he sighed. A movie huh? When was the last time he’d gone to one? For that matter, when was the last time he’d gone out aside from going to work or going to buy things he needed? He wasn’t sure; no wonder his family was so worried about him. 

Yeah, he’d go see a movie with Aya, his friend. It was time he had a little fun for a change. 

* * *

All week Misaki’s reaction to Aya’s news had been weighing on her mind. She’d wanted to make him feel better, and yet in the end he’d just seemed distressed. Aya had been so distracted thinking of ways to make amends that her friends from her classes had noticed and had gotten her to fess up what had happened. It had been their suggestion to take him out. 

Actually, they’d suggested she just “ask him out already”, and Aya was beginning to think that maybe she should. So, she’d gone and bought movie tickets for the two of them, told Misaki they’d been given to her so that he wouldn’t feel like he had to pay her back, and had convinced him to come out with her. After the movie, they could get something to eat, and then she could ask him. Simple. 

As if things were ever simple with Misaki. No doubt she’d ask him and he wouldn’t understand what she meant. She could say “would you like to date from now on?” and he’d think she was talking to someone else or practicing to ask someone else. Back when they’d first met he’d been so brash, but over the years he’d lost all confidence in himself, and nowadays it seemed like he couldn’t even fathom the idea of people liking him. Aya had seen plenty of girls flirt with Misaki at his various jobs, and the closest he ever came to noticing was to give them blank and vaguely befuddled stares before continuing on as if nothing had happened. In one instance, Aya had asked if he was alright, wondering if maybe the flirting had made him uncomfortable, and he’d replied that he was fine, he just didn’t understand the strange behaviors of girls. He was the very definition of clueless, meaning Aya had her work cut out for her if she was going to get his attention. 

Sunday morning went well. The tickets Aya had gotten were for an action movie- it was some lame story or other that Aya couldn’t care less about, but she knew it was the sort of thing Misaki liked. It wasn’t a very date-like choice, but Misaki couldn’t handle horror and would die of embarrassment if he even entered a theater where a romantic movie was playing, so action it was. Misaki enjoyed the movie, even if Aya was totally bored by the shitty plot and the impractical fight scenes and the bad editing. At least when she managed to get their hands to brush when reaching for popcorn, a feat which took a lot of work to finagle, Misaki didn’t cause a scene by freaking out. Before, he definitely would have shrieked or thrown the popcorn all over the place or something, but he remained calm. It was a good sign, Aya was sure of it. He was relaxed around her, and no other girl. She was definitely special to him. Everything was working out for her. 

They got lunch at a nearby fast food place. Aya got a salad, because burgers were gross and you really couldn’t trust the chicken, and Misaki ordered the cheapest hamburger that wasn’t on the kid’s menu. Even if he wanted to be cost efficient, he still was too proud to get a kid’s meal- probably because he’d been teased about his height far too many times. They sat down and started to eat, and Aya was just thinking of a way to steer the conversation in such a way that she could ask Misaki out when Megumi’s voice interrupted them. 

“No way, nii-san? You’re here too?” 

Aya felt like hissing when she looked up to see Megumi and Saruhiko standing nearby, each holding a cone of ice cream. Megumi had a swirl cone, whereas Saruhiko’s was, predictably, vanilla. Megumi being there was bad enough, because seriously, did she really have to interrupt _now_ of all times? But why did she have to bring Saruhiko with her too?! At least Aya could console herself that he looked just as disgusted to see her as she felt seeing him. 

“Oh, hi Megumi,” Misaki replied. “Er, Fushimi,” he added, looking like he’d rather be anywhere else all of a sudden. And if Saruhiko was making Misaki uncomfortable then him being there was _definitely_ NOT OKAY. 

“Hey, why don’t we join you guys?” Megumi asked, already taking a seat. Saruhiko also sat down. Aya wanted to spit, but no, this might be the perfect opportunity for asking Misaki out. 

“Oh sure, go right on ahead,” Aya said. “We can make this a double date.” 

There, she’d said it. Now Misaki could protest that they weren’t dating and she could say “Well why don’t we make this our first?” or something smooth like that and then- 

“Er, Aya,” Misaki said, looking confused. He’d taken the bait. Perfect. 

Only then Misaki continued with, “You know I’m gay, right?” 

* * *

Playing video games with Yata had been fun. It had also been a welcome distraction from the sight of Yata in his underwear, a moment Saruhiko kind of wished he’d taken a picture of because it was such a nice sight. But playing games had allowed him to ignore that hormone-driven part of his mind and focus on something normal. He’d beaten Yata every single time, though Yata had come alarmingly close to victory a few times. 

Then Megumi had returned and Yata’s manner had completely changed. He’d been awkward all through dinner, and the way he responded to Fushimi… well, it made Fushimi wonder if by mercilessly kicking Yata’s butt he’d messed up and made himself hated. 

However, they had barely left Yata’s apartment when Megumi had gone and opened her mouth and said, “He likes you. Definitely.” 

“I’m pretty sure you’re getting ‘like’ and ‘hate’ mixed up,” Saruhiko replied. 

“Are you kidding? Did you see the way he was blushing?” 

“And what about you? Did you miss the hostility whenever I spoke to him? Trust me, he doesn’t like me.” 

“Trust me, he does,” Megumi retorted. “He kept glancing over at you, and also, he gets super awkward when it comes to people he’s attracted to. Like, this one time I caught him going through a fan blog for an actor he found hot, and he got super embarrassed and kept trying to deny his attraction and said that he just thinks that actor’s really annoying. So then I agreed with him and his true colors ended up showing. It was satisfying, but the ten minutes of gushing over that actor that I got treated to after was a bit much. Point is, Misaki-nii is really bad at admitting his feelings.” 

Saruhiko wasn’t inclined to agree, but he kept that to himself. 

The next day passed quietly, but then Sunday rolled around, and for the first time in his life, Saruhiko didn’t feel like being alone. In such a situation, there was really only one person he could call: Megumi. 

Megumi picked up on the first ring. 

“Saruhiko! This is unexpected!” Megumi greeted. “What’s up?” 

“I’m bored and wondered if you wanted to hang out,” Saruhiko admitted. 

“Wow, you are like, my savior. Minoru’s got some guys over to study and they kicked me out of the house because they wanted like, absolute silence or something, and I was just wondering what to do with myself. Did you have anything in particular in mind?” 

No, Saruhiko didn’t have anything in mind. So he blurted out the first thing he thought of. 

“Soft serve,” he said. 

“Soft serve? Like ice cream?” Megumi asked. “Hmmm, I don’t think most of the ice cream places I know have any soft serve…” 

“We’ll go to a fast food place. They have soft serve,” Saruhiko said. “If you want anything else you can get that too. I’ll treat you since I’m the one dragging you out.” 

“No need,” Megumi replied. “Like I said, you’re really saving my butt giving me something to do while my brother’s being OCD, so I’ll pay for myself.” 

“Wanting silence for studying is not an obsessive-compulsive behavior,” Saruhiko pointed out. 

“Whatever,” Megumi replied, and hung up on him. 

After the two met up, they found a place to get their soft serve and had just gotten their cones when they spotted Saruhiko’s least favorite person, Aya, along with the person he couldn’t forget. Saruhiko was all set to run away, but Megumi went right up to them and started talking. Before Saruhiko knew what was going on, she’d arranged for the four of them to eat together, and was winking at Saruhiko like ‘Here’s your chance’. It was hard not to roll his eyes. 

And then Aya said that thing about it being a double date. 

Saruhiko and Megumi’s eyes met, stricken. There were so many problems with that, starting with the fact that Saruhiko and Megumi weren’t dating and ending with the fact that Yata- who Saruhiko liked- and Aya- who he couldn’t stand- apparently were. 

Megumi’s mouth opened to say something, and Saruhiko felt his own jaw doing the same despite the fact that he had yet to decide whether to point out that he and Megumi were just friends or to ask when the hell Aya had started dating the guy he liked, when Yata spoke up before either of them and confessed that he was gay. 

Until Yata spoke up, Saruhiko had been hating his cousin more than ever. She’d always been a bitch to him, and had made everything between them a competition without even asking him if he cared or not, and now she was dating the guy he’d wanted for seven years. But once Yata had spoken, Aya’s face fell so drastically that even Saruhiko felt a little sorry for her. She looked shocked, horrified, resigned, and depressed all at once. 

“Aya knows that,” Aya finally said. “Aya… probably knew all along. But Aya really likes Misaki, okay? So… so couldn’t Misaki have pretended just a little bit longer?!” 

“Uh, I was never pretending, but-” Yata stammered. 

“Just be quiet!” Aya yelled. Around them, people glanced over worriedly. 

“Er, well it’s not like it could be a double date anyway,” Megumi said, laughing nervously. “S-since Saruhiko and I are just friends, and-” 

“Wait, really?” Yata asked, his eyes like saucers as he turned to Saruhiko. Saruhiko felt suddenly breathless having that gaze on him. 

“Y-yeah,” Saruhiko said, cursing himself for the stutter. “Neither of us is remotely interested in the other in a romantic or sexual way.” 

“Well I might consider it, if you weren’t such a stick in the mud,” Megumi said lightly. “But yeah, he’s not really my type, bro.” She leaned forward, a conspiratorial grin on her face. “Though I think he might be yours, hm?” 

Yata’s mouth opened and shut, and he looked like a fish, before he finally took a deep breath and nodded. 

“Yeah,” he said quietly. 

“And I know for a fact that you’re his type, so Aya, how about you and me clear out and leave these two to talk a bit?” 

For a second, Saruhiko was sure his cousin wouldn’t bow out gracefully. Aya had never been one to take defeat well. But then she got to her feet with a sigh. 

“Yeah,” she said. “Let’s go. Aya knows a really good day spa we can visit.” 

“Ugh, that sounds boring,” Megumi said, grimacing. “Okay, let’s do it.” 

“If Megumi thinks it’s so boring then don’t come!” Aya snapped. “Aya like, doesn’t care if she goes with someone else or not!” 

“Liar,” Yata mumbled, and Saruhiko had to hold back a snort. 

“Shut up,” Aya whispered. “Aya doesn’t want Misaki to see her being sad. When Misaki sees people being sad, Misaki gets sad, and Aya doesn’t want Misaki to be sad, no matter what. Misaki deserves to be happy. So if Saruhiko hurts Misaki at all, Aya will help Misaki get revenge, okay?” 

“Okay, now _that_ sounds interesting,” Megumi cut in. “How about we start plotting that while we go be girly?” 

Aya laughed wetly and nodded, and the two girls finally left. 

“Idiots,” Saruhiko mumbled. “I didn’t wait seven years to talk to you just to mess up now.” 

“Wait, seven years?” Yata asked, because despite Saruhiko’s undertone, he’d somehow heard. If Yata and Megumi hadn’t been step-siblings, Saruhiko would have wondered if it was a family trait. “But seven years ago was…” Yata trailed off. 

“Our first year of middle school,” Saruhiko finished for him. “You tried to stand up for me against some bullies, and I didn’t even thank you.” 

“Yeah, I guess you didn’t,” Yata mused. “Heh, I forgot that part. I just remember getting our asses handed to us together. I was trying to be all cool and ended up being super lame instead. And right after that I noticed how hot you were, too.” Yata laughed, and Saruhiko found himself wanting to laugh along with him. 

“How hot I _was_?” he asked instead, and was rewarded by a blush and a panicked look crossing Yata’s face. 

“I meant are! Like, you were hot then, and you’re hot now, and, uh-” Yata sputtered. 

“You were kinda hot too,” Saruhiko said, finally taking pity on Yata. “And, that time, for all that we got beat up, you were actually pretty cool.” 

Yata’s jaw dropped open, and he made a choked sound, but the red tint to his face only deepened. His reaction was perfect. 

They spent about an hour, talking and catching up. They had a lot of lost time to make up for, after all. The whole time, they both received multiple texts from Aya and Megumi, sometimes complaining, sometimes showing selfies of them at the spa with captions asking if they were jealous yet. For the most part though, they ignored the texts. Because even though it went unspoken, it was finally their first date. 

* * *

Over the next few months, a lot of things changed. Misaki quit his job at the convenience store, and strangely enough, Megumi ended up being the new hire who replaced him. With more free time, Misaki started actually going home more often, where, even if he was the red-headed stepchild, he was still part of the family. 

Saruhiko started studying at the Bean Juice Bistro more, because every morning it was the one place that had all three of his favorite things: coffee, his boyfriend, and free wifi. He started spending more nights at Misaki’s apartment than at home, to the point where he and Misaki frequently squabbled about whose turn it was to clean the apartment. 

As for Aya, she and Megumi somehow became BFFs. They constantly complained about each other, but they still spent just about every weekend going out together or having sleepovers like they were in grade school. Megumi even joined the literature club, and Aya got coerced into signing up for a volleyball league with Megumi. Aya also remained friends with Misaki, and also frequented the coffee shop, though things tended to get a little tense whenever she did since, despite having mutual friends, she and Saruhiko still couldn’t manage to get along. 

Yet even though so much had changed, some things remained the same. Saruhiko was still difficult to get along with. Minoru still thought Megumi’s liberal arts degree would get her nowhere, and Megumi still fought with Minoru over it. But, most importantly, Misaki and Saruhiko still had feelings for each other, and those feelings would probably never go away.


End file.
